Thus ends the barely-noticed and much laughed about Occupy Tree effort from the pro-Russian, anti-energy left. The Roanoke Times does their utmost to provide some sort of positive spin on the entire debacle, but after a court decided enough was enough?
Gosh darnit — that so-called “principled” stand for the environment simply wasn’t worth $1,000 a day in fines.
So much for all the hysteria about killing the environment, eh?
With the stakes now appropriately lowered and the protesters humbled, we would like to helpfully divert everyone’s attention away from the Mountain Valley Pipeline towards the real victims in all of this — Virginia’s artisanal woodcrafters.
After all, that tree that was unceremoniously “occupied” by Green Antifa deserves better than to be turned into mere affordable housing. By God, we demand something more sustainable to fill the needs of the liberal upper crust who can afford such trinkets as means of showing They Care (TM).
For instance, Appalachian Power could turn this tree into some nice artisanal bowls:
Or spoons. Because you can never have too many artisanal spoons:
How’s about a fine cutting board made of spare wood pieces that you can glue together for $5 and sell to rich out-of-town liberals for $80?
Let’s not forget all the eminent domain needed. Why, how are those lawyers going to sign all that paperwork to harm the environment provide cheap energy to hard-pressed Virginians evict the hippies? Say no more…
Wait — do they need something…. artisanal to sit in??
Now don’t worry — after all, these trees weren’t murdered by taxpayer-suppported Planned Parentwood or anything like that. No way — they were “sustainably farmed” rather than chopped down in violent haste in order to provide you, the upper class and socially conscious reader, a low end product for high cost.
Of course, all of this is to honor this noble tree — the great symbol of the Occupy Tree cause and preserver of medically-supported sanity across Virginia.
Given its “historic” importance, the rest of the tree will be put to highest and best use as well.
Two-ply.
Meanwhile, Virginia Governor Ralph Northam and the vast majority of a thinly-divided General Assembly are in overwhelming support of both the Mountain Valley Pipeline as well as the Atlantic Coast Pipeline. Paid hacks keep trying to get the rest of us to care; most of us just want our energy rates to go down.
Enough with the silliness. Can we just get moving on the pipeline, please?
